Five Traits of a Great Dad

What does it mean to be a great dad, to live up to the hype of Father’s Day?  Here are some thoughts about that, accumulated over years of watching great, imperfect dads in action.

1. Great dads care how their kids are doing. Whether they express it perfectly or not, when dad is pressing us to achieve, criticizing our decisions, asking us a litany of questions, giving us advice or simply telling us he cares, it’s all the same. He gives a hoot.
2. Great dads feel responsible. It could be a sense of responsibility to teach us, support us or protect us, or it could simply be that they know their actions and opinions have an impact on us. Great dads feel like they’ve got to be able to be relied on.
3. Great dads see us for who we are. Whether we’re walking in their footsteps or blazing new trails, great dads see us for how we’re distinct from them, from their hopes and dreams for us, and from what we might have been like in an earlier era.
4. Great dads have reactions. Those reactions might not be expressed or framed in a way we know what to do with right away, but a great dad reacts to things he believes will affect our lives. Because they care, great dads react when they think we’re on or off course, in or out of a good circumstance, and more.
5. Great dads are embarrassing. Yep, it might be that they wear their pant cuffs too high, walk out of the house with a bit of tissue on a nick from shaving, cheer too loudly from the sidelines, or hold and express opinions far different from our own. We get embarrassed because they’re ours; and despite our embarrassment, we’re glad they are ours.

 

So, this Father’s day, all of us here at Benevolent want to celebrate our imperfect, embarrassing, reactive, insightful dads who give a hoot by doing something they taught us to do. Great dads stick their necks out and step in.

In honor of Father’s Day, let’s do that, too. Let’s step in and react to someone who’s in a bind. Let’s embarrass dad by honoring him for the guy he really is - the guy who’s made a difference in our lives and taught us how to make a difference for someone else.

I’ve created a special Father’s Day giving page highlighting some of the stories on the Benevolent site that I think might pique the interest of the dads in our lives. Here’s a link to it.

Last year, I made my dad cry when I contributed to someone in his honor. This year, let’s make all our dads know how much they’re appreciated, in all their imperfection.

- megan kashner

  founder & ceo

  Benevolent

  www.benevolent.net

Paying Forward for Dad this Father's Day

A Father’s Day Card for my Dad

Dad,

I stink at these holidays. I generally fail to send a card, so I wind up calling you on the phone late in the day. I’m a failure at holiday-invoked expressions of feeling. So this year, I’m taking a different tack and amplifying my Father’s Day message out into the public domain. You’ll either love it or be mortified.

Thank you. There is no way to effectively repay or adequately honor all that you’ve done for me over the course of time. From before I was born, you were planning for my security and my future. All my life  you’ve believed in me, supported my dreams, picked me up when I fell, stood up for me, run interference, and never flagged in your ardent belief in me. You haven’t always understood my choices or even the specifics of my career, but you’ve been in my corner, always.

I know I’m not the only one with a dad as great as you, but you’re mine and I wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world. You’re the one I argue with most in the world and you’re the one whose opinion I value. We often disagree, coming at things from opposite sides of the equation and opposite sides of the brain. Let’s never stop that.

I know too well that not everyone has the benefit of a dad like you, so this Father’s Day, I’m going to honor you by paying forward the fierce belief you have in your children.  I’m going to help someone else who needs to know that someone’s in her corner and supporting her dreams. 

As a tribute to you, I’m going to contribute to help meet Jean’s need. I feel compelled to help Jean because as a single mom she’s striving to be a nurse, and what’s holding her back is so basic – she needs special contacts to manage her eye condition just so she can see to study. I was a medical mess when I was young – glasses, braces, a back brace for scoliosis – and you shelled out a bunch for all those things and never, never made me feel that  it was difficult or an imposition. Now that I’m a parent and paying for braces and sports and supplies, I see how difficult it really is.

So, this Father’s Day, your parenting extends beyond me, through me, and on to Jean. She can use some of your brand of belief and support right now, and we’ll help her together.

- megan kashner, founder & ceo, daughter of howard kashner

To pay it forward in honor of your Dad this Father's Day:

1) Contribute to any need on the Benevolent.net site 

2) Send us a quick email to dad@benevolent.net and let us know:

  - your dad's name, 

  - his email address (or snail mail address if you'd rather we send a card), and 

  - a note you'd like us to include to your Dad with the note he receives from us letting him know you've made a gift in his name.